Here’s why you’re not reaching your goals (and how to fix that)

Here’s a harsh truth: You’re probably not reaching your goals, and there’s a reason why.

It’s not because you’re lazy or unmotivated.

It’s because you need a system that works for your unique brain.

Here are 3 planning strategies that ACTUALLY worked for me—no rigid calendars, no need to purchase a stack of magazines and Mod podge. Just practical, fun, and personal techniques.

But first, let me explain why you might be hitting roadblocks.

Big, abstract goals make progress feel impossible. That’s where most of us get stuck.

The solution? Think SMALL. Not in a way that limits you, but in a way that feels manageable, realistic, and flexible. That’s why I like to plan for 3 months at a time.

Your life is always changing, so your goals should adapt too.

1. The Vision Board (With Words, Not Pictures)

Forget Pinterest-perfect vision boards covered in glossy pics of dream vacations and mansions. Those rarely move us.

Instead, create a vision board with WORDS. Handwrite phrases that describe how you want to feel when you achieve your goals.

Example:

Instead of a picture of a mansion, write: “I want to feel safe, grounded, and cozy in a home that I love.”

Words trigger emotions. Emotions fuel motivation. Focus on the feelings behind the goals—not just the shiny outcomes.

2. The Goal Bingo Card

This idea blew up on the internet this year and I think there’s a reason why.

When you make your goals FUN by turning them into a game, you’re more likely to achieve them.

Create a bingo card with your goals as the 25 squares.

Each square = a small, actionable task you can complete in about a month.

Here some examples that gamify your growth

Complete the Whole 30 challenge
Walk 300,000 steps in a month
Build a capsule wardrobe of 30 pieces of clothing
Read 2 fiction books by Black woman authors

When you get a bingo, celebrate! Small wins build momentum, and turning goals into a challenge keeps it light and exciting.

3. The Goal Wall (My Favorite this year)

Use a wall or board to make your goals tangible. Write each goal on a notecard and include:

What the goal is
WHY it matters to you
A breakdown of the big picture steps to achieve it

Here’s an example:

Goal: Move to a new city
Why it matters: “I’m ready for a fresh start and new adventure.”
Steps:

Pick a city
Save moving money
Find an apartment

Seeing your progress every day is a powerful reminder that your goals aren’t just dreams—they’re actionable.

Why This Works

Small wins = BIG momentum. By focusing on short-term, bite-sized plans, you set yourself up for consistent success.

The secret is building habits and motivation with wins every single day.

Your Challenge:

Pick one:

The word-based vision board
The gamified bingo card
The tactile goal wall

Then try it for the next 3 months and see if its more successful than the vision board you made in 2024.

Let me know which one speaks to you and how it goes.

I wrote a letter to my younger self

Inspiration, Personal Development

This year, I’m moving slow. No rushing. No frenzy. Just deliberate daily action pointed towards my goals.

For me, the new year doesn’t really start until March anyway.

So, I wrote you a poem. A gentle reminder: you’re not in survival mode anymore. It’s safe to release the versions of yourself that carried you through. You don’t need them now.

To all the versions of me I’ve been, thank you.

You kept me safe.

You helped me survive.

Against all odds, we pushed forward, pulling weeds from the garden and planting hope where there was none.

But where I’m going now, there’s no room for masks or costumes.

No need for fear. No need to hide.

You’ve done your job beautifully.

And it’s okay to rest now.

I release every version of me that no longer points to my highest and truest good.

dear 2025

Inspiration, Personal Development

This is usually the week I’d share a big, over-the-top recap of the year.

But… 2024? It’s been A LOT. Like, cram-18-years-of-character-development-into-12-months kind of a lot.

So instead of grinding through the final week of the year, I’ve leaned into something radical: rest.

(With a side quest to Marshalls, where I bought a jacket and sweater I absolutely didn’t need. No regrets.)

2024 was packed with highlights, breakthroughs, and those “Wait… HOW did I not see that before?” moments that shifted who I am.

The version of me who existed on December 31, 2023? Yeah, he didn’t make it.

Every year, I pick a word or phrase to set my intention. For 2024, I chose: Clarity of Vision.

At the time, I thought I was asking for a little guidance—a gentle nudge to get out of my own way.

Instead, here’s what I actually got:

Purpose: Uncovering the real why behind everything I do. I genuinely believe art is for everyone and joy is the revolution.
Direction: Finally defining success on my terms, not someone else’s.
Focus: Cutting out all the noise and distractions.
Alignment: Confidently bridging the gap between my values and my actions.
Perspective: Stepping back and seeing the big picture of who I am and what I’m here to create.

2024 didn’t just nudge me toward clarity—it threw me into the deep end, stripped away every excuse, and said, “Sink or swim, buddy.”

I swam… but, honestly, there was a lot of floating and basic doggie paddling along the way.

Here’s the wild part, though—I finally accepted myself.

Like, in a real, undeniable way. No more caveats. No more pretending. No more self-policing.

Just me, showing up fully as myself.

Which brings me to yesterday: my final boss fight of the year—my fear of being cringe.

I used to hold back.

Not because I couldn’t give 100%, but because I was afraid of being seen trying.

So, I did the cringiest thing I could think of.

I learned a TikTok dance. And I posted it.

Not as a joke. Not ironically.

I did it because I like the song. I like learning line dances.

And honestly? Two-stepping out of my comfort zone felt… amazing.

2024 wasn’t the perfect Instagram highlight reel.

It was messy, uncomfortable, and sometimes f*cking terrible.

But it was about growth. Change. Showing up fully, even when it felt awkward.

Which makes me think… 2025? I’m calling it my year of: Joyful Abundance.

What about you? What’s your word or phrase for the new year?

10 life lessons I wish I knew sooner

Inspiration

I’ll never forget that moment.

I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend at the time. We’d done mushrooms, and as I rambled on about feeling stuck, unsure of what to do next, he hit me with it:

“What do you think is standing in the way of reaching your dreams?”

It was a question I didn’t have an answer to—at least, not then.

This was during the chaos of finishing The Reset Workbook, right in the middle of a cancer scare. A time when I realized I’d need to go back to work because, if something was wrong, I couldn’t afford to be without health insurance.

A week before I started the new job, we broke up.

And yet, his question has echoed in my mind for years.

Every January, I pick a word or phrase to guide me.

In 2024, it’s “Clarity of Vision”—because I was finally ready to face my shadow and answer that question.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Life is art, and art is everything.

I’m an artist. But beyond illustration, collage, or writing, I’ve learned that art exists in everything:

The way you decorate your home.

The clothes you wear.

The meals you cook.

The way you clean.

It’s all a practice in creating beauty. Life is your art.

2. Rejection is just data.

It’s neutral. It doesn’t mean stop—it just means try again or change direction.

3. Authenticity is non-negotiable.

Over the past few months, documenting my life has demanded a deeper honesty from me. When I share hollow, performative work, it drains me.

But when I share the truth, it doesn’t. It’s just me, being me. And that’s sustainable.

4. I am worthy of consistent kindness and love.

I’ve always been the friend who gives, who listens, who supports. But asking for help? That’s a skill I had to learn this year.

Throwing my first solo art show forced me to lean on my community—and the way people showed up for me was overwhelming.

Ask for help. Watch who shows up. Those are your people.

5. The universe delivers—just not how you expect.

I used to believe I had to force everything to happen. Now I know better.

Time and again, opportunities have arrived in ways I couldn’t have planned. The key is recognizing opportunity. Act on them. And don’t block the blessings coming your way.

6. How people treat you is about them, not you.

I’ve left behind the “why is this happening to me?” mindset. Now, it’s: “Thank you for this information.”

Let them deal with their choices. You focus on yours.

My friend Valerie game me this advice: “Accept people for who they are, but make sure to place them where they belong.”

7. Who you are in adversity is who you are.

Facing your shadow is uncomfortable. It’s realizing you are both your best and your worst self.

This year, I’ve confronted my flaws. Some, I’ve worked to change. Others, I’ve simply accepted.

Self love is accepting all the parts of you.

8. Let go of distractions from your favorite self.

Your “favorite self” is the version of you that feels aligned and authentic. It’s not about being your best self all the time—that’s exhausting.

But if someone tries to shrink you, or force you into a box that serves their expectations? You’re allowed to remind them that you are a whole, evolving human.

9. Stay focused on gratitude.

Disappointments happen. So do losses, failures, and challenges. But what you focus on is your choice.

The loss, or the freedom?

The pain, or the growth?

The fear, or the joy?

Every morning I write ten things I’m grateful for and how that makes me feel.

An example: I’m grateful that I cooked dinner last night. I feel nourished, healthy, and strong.

10. Joy is the revolution.

There’s too much fear in this world. Too much disconnection. What we need is community, creativity, and lightness.

I believe joy is the fastest way to reconnect with our favorite selves. Joy isn’t trivial—it’s a rebellion against everything that tries to steal our light.

And with SoCurious, I am building a company that spreads love and light with products that help you find your joy.

—

Clarity of Vision means answering the question that haunted me for so long: “What’s standing in the way of your dreams?”

Now, I know the answer was me.

But every day, I’m learning how to let go of illusions and let myself be free.

This is proof that childhood dreams can come true.

Joy is the Revolution

Next year I turn 40, and I just had my first solo art show.

This weekend was a major milestone in my journey as an artist.

“Joy is the Revolution” was all about hope, community, and reconnection.

Leading up to the event? Ya boy was stressed.

But every piece of art reflected my heart and heritage.

DJ WyldFlower set the vibe.

We had make-and-create stations where people could color versions of my pieces and design their own Joy Bombs.

My homeboy Sani made giant letters.

My high school best friend made delicious mocktails.

And I got to do joy readings with attendees using my Joy Bomb Affirmation cards.

But this wasn’t just about me.

It couldn’t have happened without my community.
Your support.
Your belief.
Your presence made this real.

I’m beyond grateful to share my art and heart with Austin, TX.

Joy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a force. And it’s contagious.

This is just the beginning.

Massive thanks to everyone who helped make this happen: Valerie, Camari, Evelyn, LaCole, Chris, Sani, Nhi, Shari, Kay, Kiana, DJ Wyldflower, and the Origin Studio House team (Brittney, Dante, and Stefon).