I’ll never forget that moment.
I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend at the time. We’d done mushrooms, and as I rambled on about feeling stuck, unsure of what to do next, he hit me with it:
“What do you think is standing in the way of reaching your dreams?”
It was a question I didn’t have an answer to—at least, not then.
This was during the chaos of finishing The Reset Workbook, right in the middle of a cancer scare. A time when I realized I’d need to go back to work because, if something was wrong, I couldn’t afford to be without health insurance.
A week before I started the new job, we broke up.
And yet, his question has echoed in my mind for years.
Every January, I pick a word or phrase to guide me.
In 2024, it’s “Clarity of Vision”—because I was finally ready to face my shadow and answer that question.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Life is art, and art is everything.
I’m an artist. But beyond illustration, collage, or writing, I’ve learned that art exists in everything:
The way you decorate your home.
The clothes you wear.
The meals you cook.
The way you clean.
It’s all a practice in creating beauty. Life is your art.
2. Rejection is just data.
It’s neutral. It doesn’t mean stop—it just means try again or change direction.
3. Authenticity is non-negotiable.
Over the past few months, documenting my life has demanded a deeper honesty from me. When I share hollow, performative work, it drains me.
But when I share the truth, it doesn’t. It’s just me, being me. And that’s sustainable.
4. I am worthy of consistent kindness and love.
I’ve always been the friend who gives, who listens, who supports. But asking for help? That’s a skill I had to learn this year.
Throwing my first solo art show forced me to lean on my community—and the way people showed up for me was overwhelming.
Ask for help. Watch who shows up. Those are your people.
5. The universe delivers—just not how you expect.
I used to believe I had to force everything to happen. Now I know better.
Time and again, opportunities have arrived in ways I couldn’t have planned. The key is recognizing opportunity. Act on them. And don’t block the blessings coming your way.
6. How people treat you is about them, not you.
I’ve left behind the “why is this happening to me?” mindset. Now, it’s: “Thank you for this information.”
Let them deal with their choices. You focus on yours.
My friend Valerie game me this advice: “Accept people for who they are, but make sure to place them where they belong.”
7. Who you are in adversity is who you are.
Facing your shadow is uncomfortable. It’s realizing you are both your best and your worst self.
This year, I’ve confronted my flaws. Some, I’ve worked to change. Others, I’ve simply accepted.
Self love is accepting all the parts of you.
8. Let go of distractions from your favorite self.
Your “favorite self” is the version of you that feels aligned and authentic. It’s not about being your best self all the time—that’s exhausting.
But if someone tries to shrink you, or force you into a box that serves their expectations? You’re allowed to remind them that you are a whole, evolving human.
9. Stay focused on gratitude.
Disappointments happen. So do losses, failures, and challenges. But what you focus on is your choice.
The loss, or the freedom?
The pain, or the growth?
The fear, or the joy?
Every morning I write ten things I’m grateful for and how that makes me feel.
An example: I’m grateful that I cooked dinner last night. I feel nourished, healthy, and strong.
10. Joy is the revolution.
There’s too much fear in this world. Too much disconnection. What we need is community, creativity, and lightness.
I believe joy is the fastest way to reconnect with our favorite selves. Joy isn’t trivial—it’s a rebellion against everything that tries to steal our light.
And with SoCurious, I am building a company that spreads love and light with products that help you find your joy.
—
Clarity of Vision means answering the question that haunted me for so long: “What’s standing in the way of your dreams?”
Now, I know the answer was me.
But every day, I’m learning how to let go of illusions and let myself be free.
